ADHD

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    What is ADHD?

    Understanding Your Child's Way of Being

    Hello and welcome! If you’re a parent or carer of a child with ADHD, take a deep breath. Parenting can be a rollercoaster, and ADHD is a big one.

    This resource is here to let you know that there’s nothing wrong with your child. ADHD is just one of the many ways a brain can work. We’ll explore what ADHD really means in down-to-earth terms, celebrate the positives, and offer encouragement for your journey ahead. You are not alone, and with understanding and support, you and your child can thrive.

    Your love and advocacy mean the world to your child. Take it one day at a time, celebrate small successes, and never forget that different doesn’t mean less.

    Reframing the Narrative

    Affirmation of Difference

    We tell ourselves stories about what is good and what is bad, what is right and what is wrong. These stories become entrenched and taken for granted as being true - a narrative about life or a narrative that defines a child. It's easy to fall into patterns of frustration when your child seems to "never learn" or "always forgets." 

     

    Embrace your child’s uniqueness. 

     

    The recurring narrative is “how can I change this behaviour?” As an alternative approach, try asking “what is this behavior telling me about my child's needs or gifts?. 

     

    A shift in thinking can turn frustration into curiosity and open up new ways to help your child. It moves you from being problem-oriented to being solution-oriented. Then you can help the family do the same.

    Here are three discussion starters:

    • Affirmation of difference. ADHD doesn’t need to be “fixed” - it needs to be understood and supported.You’re already doing the work of walking alongside your child, learning together what helps. Your presence is one of the greatest tools you and your child will ever have. Children learn more from modelling their parents than from direct instruction. Your modelling can help them stay on track in a way that honours who they are. But, as a carer, you need strategies for your own self-care. We will help you find and develop those strategies.

    • Adaptation over correction - Children do well if they can and when they can. If they can’t, that’s a sign that supports are needed - not a sign of weakness. 

    • Lifelong strategies, not temporary scaffolds -  The challenges of ADHD are invisible. That’s why they’re so often misunderstood. But with the right supports, your child can live a full, connected, joyful life - on their own terms. These aren’t just short-term tricks. These are lifelong tools they may use well into adulthood, to navigate life on their own terms.

    Executive Function

    Helping Children Stay on Track

    Executive function is how we plan, organise, remember, and manage ourselves. It's what helps us stay on track by getting started on tasks, switching between activities, staying focused, controlling impulses, and managing emotions. For children with ADHD, executive function can be like trying to steer a ship with a small rudder - it doesn't mean they're not trying, it just means they need more support to stay on track.

    Understanding Executive Function Struggles 

    Children with ADHD often: 

      • Forget instructions or where they left their shoes. 
      • Start a task but get distracted halfway through. 
      • Leave a trail of belongings through the house. 
      • Struggle to switch from one activity to another (especially if they're enjoying it). 
      • Melt down when asked to stop something abruptly. 
      • Have trouble seeing how long something will take or what to do first.

    This isn't laziness or defiance. Their brain is working differently. 

    The human brain flicks between a default reflective mode and a task focussed mode. The ADHD brain flicks between these two modes with a different rhythm to what most people exhibit. ADHD can allow novel thinking and a tendency to hyperfocus, but look like inattention and getting lost down a rabbit hole. 

    Executive function develops gradually through childhood and adolescence, and many children with ADHD are simply developing these skills on a different timeline.

    Practical Strategies for Home 

    Here are some ways to support your child's executive functioning with kindness and creativity:

      • Externalise the tasks by using visual charts, checklists, or simple step-by-step instructions. Break big tasks into small chunks. Instead of "Clean your room," try "Pick up your clothes."  When that is done, it’s time to say "Put your books on the shelf."
      • Create routines. Same steps, same order, same time of day. Routines reduce the load on memory and help children know what to expect.
      • Use timers and visual cues. A sand timer, kitchen timer, or colourful clock can help children understand time in a concrete way. Some families use picture schedules for the day ahead.
      • Offer gentle prompts— not pressure. Instead of "You should know this by now," try "Let's walk through it together." This is called “body doubling” and works with adults, too.
      • Allow time for transitions. Give warnings before a change (e.g., "Five more minutes, then bath time"). Let your child know what's coming next, and give them space to shift gears.
      • Celebrate a win. Notice and name the small wins. "You remembered your lunch today! How good is that?” 

    It's not that our children aren't trying. It's that the task is bigger than it looks.

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